


The Food Network Presents Birthdays and Restaurants

by Azure_K_Mello



Series: The Food Network Presents… [5]
Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 19:25:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azure_K_Mello/pseuds/Azure_K_Mello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Tricia’s birthday and the Food Network airing the promo causes problems. </p>
<p>Note: Begins directly after The First Date.</p>
<p>Words: 13,677</p>
<p>Bunny care of: mediaville found here: http://mediaville.livejournal.com/12649.html</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Food Network Presents Birthdays and Restaurants

Jared woke up as Jamie climbed into bed. Jensen didn’t even stir. Jamie cuddled into his father’s chest and promptly fell back to sleep. Jared climbed out of bed as the dogs piled onto it. He grabbed his clothes and went to the bathroom and turned on the spray. He washed his hair and scrubbed himself clean. The scabbed scratches on his back felt good, sore but grounding. He dried off, brushed his teeth and hair, moisturized, and dressed. 

He went out to the kitchen and started to cook earlier than he normally would have. He wanted everything to be ready once the boys were awake. He cut up some cantaloupe and started to make hash browns. It was his first attempt at a tofu scramble but he’d watched Jensen do it a couple of times. He made it with broccoli and ham. The dogs came out and nosed about him waiting patiently to be fed and let out into the yard. Once he’d dealt with them he poured a cup of coffee and looked in the medicine cabinet over the microwave. What he wanted was next to five EpiPens the sight of them made him feel sick. He carried the coffee and a bottle of Motrin into the bedroom. Setting them down on the side he stroked Jensen’s cheek and kissed him gently awake. 

Jensen blinked slowly and Jared said, “Coffee and Motrin, thought you might need it after last night, first time in a long time and all.” 

“You’re awesome,” Jensen said and then started to yawn. He took three pills and drank his coffee down in four chugs. 

“I try to be. Breakfast is almost ready.” 

Jensen nodded, “Cool, see you in a couple of minutes.” He flinched slightly as he stood up. 

“You okay?” Jared asked. 

“I’m great.” Jensen stretched and leaned forward to kiss Jared. “Honestly, I’m great.” 

Jared went back to the kitchen to make sure nothing had burned. Everything was right on track and Jared started to set the table. Jensen came out carrying Jamie, almost like a doll, and went back into Jamie’s bedroom talking about the big day. Jensen was showered but back in his pajamas. They came out a few minutes later as Jared put the plates down on the table. “I’ve tried to make a tofu scramble; you have to be honest if it’s bad.”

Jensen laughed, “Wow.” 

“I wanted to do something a little special,” Jared shrugged. “Do we have enough time?”

“Yeah, Jeff won’t be here as painfully early today.” Jensen sat down to the table and picked up his fork, he took a bite and said, “Jay, it’s really good: no lie. Thank you.” 

Jared kind of blushed, “Good, I’m glad.” He sat down at the same time as Jamie. It was good, Jared thought as he took his first bite. “I’m gonna take the dogs home in a little bit.” He smiled at Jensen. 

“Why?” asked Jamie as he ate a large piece of cantaloupe. 

“Because I’m not sleeping here tonight.” 

Jamie looked horrified, “Why not?”

“Daddy’s having a night by himself. Nothing to worry about.” Jared smiled easily at Jamie. 

Jamie looked at Jensen for a moment, “Is this because it’s Mommy’s birthday? I heard Mr. Morgan say it yesterday.”

The blood rushed out of Jensen’s face. “Yes, it’s Mommy’s birthday. So I’m going out with Tommy and Annie and shopping for some clothes and having a movie marathon.”

“Why isn’t Jared going with you?” 

Jensen looked away awkwardly. So Jared said, “I have a really busy day today. Sound looping and going over to my restaurant. I don’t get to go shopping and it’ll be easiest if I just sleep at my place. So, you ate your cantaloupe first?”

“I eat stuff in order: least favorite to most. So it’s going to be the scramble next ‘cause it’s really good but I love hash browns best.” 

“Cool, that’s a good idea.” He reached over and squeezed Jensen’s hand. “You don’t need new clothes, you’re already plenty hot.” Jensen just kept eating, not looking up from his plate. “Who’s coming to school today?”

“No one,” Jamie said as he tore through his tofu, “We have eight kids in my class. So we get a parent on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. But Wednesday we just have all our classes. Which is good, we have reading.” 

“Good, you like reading. Are you excited about your sleepover?”

“Yeah, Tim and I are gonna play his Wii and he has a Ratchet action figure, one of the old ones from before the film. Y’know, the blue and white one? So we’re gonna have a fight with him and Bumblebee.” 

“Did you put Bumblebee in your backpack?” asked Jared. 

“Yeah, but I have to give it to Mr. Morgan before I go to school. We’re not allowed to bring our own toys to school in first grade, only the babies can bring toys. Big kids aren’t allowed.” 

“Bummer.” 

“Yeah. They take ‘em away for a whole week.”

“Wow that’s harsh.”

Jamie started in on his harsh browns. “They say that our toys distract us in class. But that’s stupid: some of the toys in class are just as distracting.” 

“Well, I guess they have more experience. They probably used to let the first graders have them and that caused problems.”

“That’s what Daddy says too.” 

“You’re eating really fast.”

“Mr. Morgan will be here in, like, ten minutes.” 

Jared slowly let go of Jensen’s hand with one last squeeze, “I’ll get your shoes, slow down a little, he’ll wait for you I’m sure.” He stood up from the table and went into Jamie’s room. Messy, it was messy. Jared smiled, he knew there has to be a messy spot in the house and he had found it. The floor was covered in toys, clothes, and books. The walls were covered in posters: Spurs, Transformers, Jared holding a large knife in one hand and a blender in the other, and one of puppets and a girl in a pink wig, and so many other littler ones. He looked around for Jamie’s shoes and finally spotted them in a pop tent in the corner. Coming back he said, “Jamie, I love your room. I like messy rooms. And I like your posters.”

“Oh,” Jamie laughed. “I had to be in hospital for a long time because of pears, like three weeks. Daddy got me your poster and the LazyTown one for my room at the hospital to make it nicer and my Teen Titan and Mickey Mouse bed sheets. The ones at the hospital are really stiff.”

“Too much starch,” Jensen said softly but he still didn’t look up from his food. “And they smell of hospital. So if you get two sets you can always have one set on the bed and another set for when you need to do the laundry.” 

Jamie finished his breakfast, “That was awesome, Jared, thanks.” He took his shoes from Jared and pulled them on shoving his feet into them. 

Jensen’s own plate was empty and he stood up silently and started to put together Jamie’s lunch together. Finally he said, “Roast beef sandwich, potato chips, raw carrots, and some of Annie’s lemon cookie drops. Good?” he asked Jamie with a much too bright smile.

“Can I have snap peas too?” asked Jamie as he tied his shoes. 

“Absolutely. You’ll be good for Mr. Morgan?” 

“Yes, Daddy.”

“You guys have to sleep tonight because it’s a school night. Don’t go sneaking about.”

“Yes, Daddy.” 

“Good boy. C’mon, Mr. Morgan’s going to be here in a minute. Let’s go.”

Jamie grabbed his backpack and hugged Jared, “Bye, Jared, see you tomorrow.” 

“Bye, Jamie, have fun at school.” Jared leaned down to kiss Jamie’s head. 

Once they went outside Jared wondered if he was about to get thrown out on his ass. He started to wash the dishes in the sink. He heard the car out front and braced himself for Jensen to come back. He heard the front door shut but continued to rinse the glasses. “Jared,” Jensen said softly. 

“Don’t make me go, please. Don’t push me out,” He didn’t want to beg but he couldn’t help it. 

“Jared, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” It wasn’t what Jared was expecting. “I should have told you.”

Feeling relieved down to his toes Jared said, “No. It’s not a ‘should have’ it’s a ‘could have’. You could have told me but you don’t have to tell me anything.” 

Jensen shook his head, “It’s a shitty reason to want a day alone.”

“It’s a perfectly good reason to want a day alone. But only if you actually want a day alone. If, on the other hand, you wanted a day alone because you were afraid of telling me then it’s a really stupid reason. Because if you want me here then I’m here.”

“I miss her all the time, Jared. And I love you and-”

“You’ll love her for the rest of your life and loving me doesn’t stop that. Loving me doesn’t make you not miss her. And that’s not something that’s bad, or wrong. You shouldn’t be ashamed of loving her, it’s natural. So would you like me to come with you today?”

Jensen finally looked at him, “I don’t want to be mean.”

“You can be mean; I don’t mind.” 

“I want to be with other people who miss her today.”

“That’s fine. But if you want me anytime today you call me and I’ll come.” 

“Okay,” Jensen nodded. “I probably won’t call you. Just telling you to be honest.”

Jared smiled, “That’s okay too. I’m gonna leave the dogs here. They like it here, I’ll swing by and pick them up later. Okay?” 

“Yeah.”

“And I’ll wait with you ‘til Tom comes. Okay?” 

“That would be good.” He sighed, “I was going to make mimosas. There’s a bottle of champagne in the cooler in the garage. I’ll be right back.”

Jared got out the big soda glasses and the orange juice and filled the glasses a third of the way with juice. Jensen came back in and stood at the open door to the backyard. The cork popped out into the yard. And Jensen filled up the glasses. “Thanks for getting the big glasses.” 

“Well, on a birthday you’re allowed to be tanked before nine.” He raised his glass to Jensen, “To Tricia.”

“To Tricia. Happy Birthday, baby.” Jensen sipped his drink. “Tom wants to have fun today. Last two years I just got shitfaced and cried a lot. But Tom wants me to buy a new, less scruffy wardrobe. And we’re gonna watch the Evil Deads because she loved them, and eat fish tacos because she used to get drunk and eat, like, six. Maybe it’ll be fun.”

“Yeah, maybe. And maybe Tom will make you buy fun clothes. Although I meant it: you have nice clothes.”

“I only have two pairs of casual pants that don’t scream ‘Daddy.’”

“You are a daddy. A very sexy daddy.”

“Yeah?” Jensen smiled. He pushed himself up onto the counter. Jared moved to stand between Jensen’s legs.

“Sitting here in your flannel pants, UT shirt, and glasses? Sexy as sin on a Sunday.” He leaned forward and kissed Jensen slowly. “So, so sexy. More handsome than anyone I’ve ever seen even in TV and movies.” 

Jensen laughed and linked his ankles behind Jared’s knees, pulling him in closer. He held Jared’s face between his hands and kissed him slowly. Letting Jared go he said, “I need a refill.” He let Jared go. Jared took his glass and quickly refilled and handed it back. “Thank you.” Jared sipped his own slowly. “So what are you doing today? How badly am I keeping you?”

“Probably sound looping. Boring. It’ll wait ‘til I get there. It can wait until tomorrow.”

“Tom’s not getting here for at least an hour. So can I have you?” asked Jensen. 

“Yeah, totally.” Jared finished his mimosa. “Come back to bed?”

Jensen put down half of his drink on the counter. “Yeah, yeah, that sounds good. Take a second shower with me afterwards?”

“Sounds awesome.” 

Jensen jumped off the counter. “I want you on your stomach.” 

“Good, because I think if I rub my back too much it’s going to start bleeding again.” Jensen took his hand and started leading him to bed. 

“Did I hurt you?” asked Jensen.

“I don’t think I even noticed it, to be honest. I only realized I had the scratches when you pointed them out. And now they sort of feel good, morning after y’know?” 

“Oh, believe me, I know.” 

“You okay?”

“I’m fine. But thank you, for asking.” 

That struck Jared as off. “I’ll always ask,” he said softly. “And right now, I’m asking you to get me on that bed.”

“You’re wearing too many clothes.” Jensen sat down on the bed, still unmade, and looked Jared up and down and the gaze felt like hot lead racing under Jared’s skin only pleasant. He felt himself hardening and, fuck, it wasn’t fair he wasn’t fifteen he was twenty-five a look shouldn’t have had this effect. But it was Jensen. 

Jared popped the buckle of his belt and opened the button on his jeans with one of his hands while the other pulled his shirt over his head. He kicked off his shoes. Then he hooked his thumbs into his waistline and jumped upwards. He pulled his pants and boxers down and hooked his fingers into his socks. By the time he landed he was totally naked, “Ta-da.”

“That was amazing.”

“We had a game in college. Whoever could get naked fastest didn’t have to chip in beer money. I think I paid four times. I’m like a one man pit team, only sexy.”

“Hey, NASCAR is plenty sexy.” Jensen pulled his sweatshirt over his head and shimmied out of his pants. “It’s also pretty fast to get naked if you only wear two articles of clothing and one of them has a draw string.”

“There were rules about the number of clothes you had to wear, it was very complicated. Can we focus on sex?” 

“I’m just waiting for you here. I’m on the bed and everything.” He reached forward to grasp Jared and pulled him in by his hips. “I want you hard before I’m in you.”

“Already getting there, God, you make me desperate.” 

“Good, want to.” He kissed his way down Jared’s abdomen.

Jared put a hand under Jensen’s chin and tilted his face up, “I love you.”’

“Jay, I’m doing the Family Barbeque to support you in coming out. And you’re coming out to cook for my little boy. Who I trust you to cook for. What does that say to you?” 

“You love me too.”

Jensen smiled, “I’m gonna go back to what I was doing.” He gently stroked Jared and said softly, “You’re not allowed to come until I’m inside of you.” And when Jensen licked him Jared had to look away. It would be over to soon. Jensen lapped at him, almost cat like before sucking the head into his mouth and wrapped around his shaft while the other messaged his balls. He ran his tongue in circles underneath. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Jensen. Mother Mary, Jesus, fuck. Not playing fair.” Jared ran his fingers through Jensen’s hair. “Gonna come too soon.” 

Jensen pulled off and totally let go of Jared, “Not yet. On your stomach. Up on your knees but not your arms, I want your head on the bed.” Jared almost whined and he followed the instructions; he just wanted to come. “Told you I liked making you desperate.” 

“God, want you now.” He felt slick fingers at his entrance. He wasn’t sure when Jensen had gotten the lube out. “Thank you.” 

“Thank time. I don’t have enough time to draw this out the way I want to.” 

“Don’t, don’t tease me.” 

“Not now, but sometime? I’m gonna fuck you all night long.” 

“God, please.” Jensen stretched him fast and easy. And Jared was shaking. 

Jensen kissed his back, along the scabs. “I’m sorry about these.” 

“I’m not,” said Jared pushing back. 

Jensen chuckled. “You really are amazing.” He finally started to push into Jared. 

“Try to be. Jen, fuck.” 

~~~

Tom knocked but no one answered. Jared’s car was in the driveway and Tom opened the door. “Guys? Are you here?” He thought maybe Jared had gotten a driver to go to work as he wasn’t supposed to be coming with them. “Jen? Where are you?” He got no response. As he walked into the house he heard the shower. Walking into the bathroom he said, “You’re not ready yet?” before he realized that Jensen wasn’t alone. “Oh, hey, Jared.” 

Jared opened the shower door. “Do you always walk in on my boyfriend in the shower?”

“Sorry, I just, it doesn’t seem important. We used to sleep together all the time.” Tom said then he quickly added, “Unless that’s a secret. In which case I’ve never seen Jensen naked.”

“Go into the kitchen; have a mimosa,” Jensen said. 

“I’m the designated.” 

“Well go have some fruit or something, just fuck off.” 

~~~

Jensen kissed Jared slowly. “I should get out and get dressed.”

“Yeah,” Jared said. He turned off the water. “If you want me to come-” 

“No, no go to work. I’ll call you if I need you. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Jared toweled off. And Jensen just watched him. “Like what you see?” 

“Love it but I’ve run out of time.” Jensen dried himself off. He wrenched his eyes off of Jared. “Go and get dressed. Can’t look at you right now. You’re making me just want to play all day.”

Jared smiled and raised an eyebrow. “Now there’s an idea. Let’s chase Tom away and have sex on every flat surface in the house. Champagne and counter sex.” 

“No, go get dressed, don’t tease.”

“You were teasing me earlier. I’m not teasing I’m freely offering tipsy marathon sex. We can take breaks I’ll cook for you while you just lay about naked and fucked out. We could even go to my house so that when we take food breaks it can all be cheese and eggs and nuts.”

“God, Jared, please, go get dressed and let me get dressed. Please?” Jensen cajoled, it wasn’t a sexy whine; it was a genuine plea. 

Jared moved closer and gently kissed Jensen. He stroked his hand down Jensen’s face, “As you wish… that means I love you.”

“I saw the movie. Go, let me put in my contacts in peace.” 

“Okay,” Jared let go of Jensen and left him alone. 

It was sort of stupid. Marathon sex, booze, and food sounded awesome. But even though Jared now knew what the day was Jensen still couldn’t feel wholly comfortable with him today. The night before had been so fucking amazing and he still couldn’t quite believe it. He put in his contacts and went back into the bedroom where Jared was totally dressed. Jared was wearing a thin t-shirt and Jensen could see a handprint bruise on Jared’s arm. “You have a bruise showing.” 

“Oh,” Jared’s face fell a little. He touched the handprint. “Do you want me to cover it?”

“What?”

“I’ll cover it if you would be more comfortable. I like hickeys, marks on me. Some people don’t like them on themselves or anyone else. So should I cover them?”

The words and tone were sad and Jensen wondered just how many bad relationships Jared had had. Jared had said that he had been with a lot of guys who hadn’t liked him much. They didn’t want people to know about him. “If you are happy with it so am I. I mean, fuck, it’s my handprint. I might as well stamp my name all over you. You walking around like that? Anyone can see me all over you and that’s hot.” He started going through his drawers. He paused over a collared shirt but grabbed a t-shirt that showed his neck instead. He stepped into underwear and pulled his grey jeans out of the pale drawer and put them on. “You have fun at work today,” he said as he turned around to find his belt. 

“Don’t let Tom throw those jeans away, I like them. You didn’t gel your hair at all,” said Jared studying him. 

“No, I don’t like to when I have to try on clothes. Oh, deodorant?” Jared tossed it to him gently. “Thanks.” He put it on quickly and said, “Don’t worry about me today.”

“I’ll try not to. Have fun, just enjoy it. Don’t bring the champagne in the car: we have open container laws now.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Jensen walked to the door. “Ready?” 

“Yeah,” Jared said standing. Tom was sitting in the kitchen. “Hi, Tom.”

“Sorry about the walking in thing, Jay. I didn’t mean anything by it.” 

“I just wasn’t prepared. You guys have fun today.”

Tom smiled, “We will. We’re going to Valley View, the Square, and Collin Creek.”

“That’s a lot of shopping,” he turned and kissed Jensen softly. “Call me if you want me.”

“You can sleep here if you want. If it’s easier than going home,” said Jensen. “I’ll be at Tom’s.” 

“Okay, thanks. I’ll leave you to it.” Jared took his keys. 

Jensen glanced towards Tommy but threw caution to the wind. “Love you.”

Jared must not have noticed the surprise on Tom’s face because he smiled and said casually, “Love you too. Later.” He walked out without a look back.

Tom gawked at Jensen, “Shut up,” said Jensen. He took the magnum of champagne off the counter and took a slug. 

“You’re covered in hickeys and you just actually said, ‘I love you’ I’m allowed to say something.”

“Tommy, don’t.”

“This is fucking huge. You don’t let people put marks on you. You sure as hell don’t show them off. You don’t tell people you love them.” 

“I let him top last night.” Jensen took another large gulp. 

“Jesus.”

“I haven’t felt like this since Joshua. I’m blazing for him. I’m using words like blazing: that’s how gone I am. We hold each other’s faces while kissing. I’m not kidding, it’s fucking storybook.” Tom smiled so widely and so brightly. “Stop it,” Jensen looked away, “I’m not sure it’s a good thing.”

“Are you kidding? It’s a great thing.”

“Look at the record: Kerr and Joshua. It’s not a good thing: it’s terrifying. I’m freaked out here.” Jensen took a long pull.

“But he’s not Kerr or Joshua. He’s Jared. And you said you loved him and you’re not covering hickeys which you allowed to be placed there. I think it’s fucking awesome. I mean, how was last night?”

“Amazing. Mind blowingly amazing. And he woke me up to do it again. And then he made a full breakfast before I even woke up. A full breakfast midweek.” Jensen killed the magnum. “I’m totally fucked here.”

“Literally.”

Jensen shook his head, “That’s not funny.”

“He’s nice; he’s not Kerr or Joshua.”

“How well do you know him?” and Jensen felt badly for asking. He really should’ve been talking to Jared about it. 

“I assure you, Jen: he’s not a Kerr or a Joshua. He’s the guy who wakes you up to give you awesome sex in the middle of the night and wakes up early to cook you a real meal the next morning because he’s happy and loves you. Plus he’s probably a little grateful because he’s like a puppy that loves you when you don’t kick it and, as far as I’ve seen, he usually gets kicked. So don’t kick him just because you’re scared. Be nice to the six foot five puppy because if you do he’s going to keep loving you and be sad but he won’t leave you. He’s gone on you too.”

“Okay. Are we waiting on Annie?”

“No, she and Chris are meeting us at Valley View.” 

“Let’s go.” Jensen pushed away from the counter and felt slightly dizzy, “I’m a little drunk.”

“That’s okay: I put puke bags in the car. Just don’t vomit on clothes before we pay for them.”

“Deal.” Jensen walked on unsteady legs to the door and Tom’s car. “Jared didn’t have much, half a glass of mimosa. He had to go to work: I made him.”

“That’s okay. I understand that. He’s not a part of today. What is part of the day is Tricia’s music so is it Gin Blossoms, Toad the Wet Sprocket, or Three Dog Night?”

“Gin Blossoms.” Jensen didn’t sing along. He shouted along, if he’d tried to sing he would have cried. But it was good to listen to the old music. He’d listened to Tricia singing the songs on Jamie’s CDs but he hadn’t heard the real versions in two years. “I need cigarettes.” 

Tom turned down the music a little and said, “Really? You’re sure?” Jensen nodded vigorously. “Fine, there’s three packs in the glove compartment. I came prepared.”

“Thank you,” Jensen lit one quickly. 

“We’re gonna go to Dos Charros for lunch.”

“Awesome, love that place.” Jensen said, “This’ll be fun right?”

“You love clothes shopping. You’re going to try on shit-tons of stuff and dance in changing rooms.”

“I actually remember the last time I went shopping. You were there and you made me throw away what I was wearing.”

“You’ll have to do it again today.”

“No. Jared likes these jeans.”

“They’re wearing thin on the ass.”

Jensen laughed, “They can’t wear on the thighs. I’m a bowlegged freak.” 

“Well, if you hadn’t always been you would have been this morning. Get it, get it?”

“I hate you. You’re a shrink, you’re supposed to be easy to talk to and not mock people who confide in you about their sex lives.”

“I’m not your shrink.” They pulled into the parking lot. “Let’s get you a lemonade to rehydrate you and meet Annie and Chris at American Eagle.”

Jensen got out of the car saying, “Okay, sounds good. Don’t tell them about the whole Jared, bottoming, love thing.” 

Tom shook his head solemnly, “You’re not a patient so it’s roommate confidentiality.” 

“Thank you.” 

“I like to razz you but Chris will really belabor the point and Annie might get a little weepy.”

“Exactly.” 

“You’re good: don’t worry.” Tommy gently herded Jensen to the hotdog stand and bought him a large lemonade. 

They walked into American Eagle and Jensen saw that Annie already had an armful of clothes. “Oh good. I’ve found so many things you need. Okay,” she held out six shirts, two pairs of jeans, a pair of khakis, and beige cargo pants, “start with these.”

“Cargo pants? I’m a grownup.” 

“Jen you’re about to start working from home you won’t have to wear work clothes. Plus, it has pockets, you love pockets you can carry like twelve Epi-Pens at once.”

He considered it for a moment and, really, who the fuck says grownups can’t dress like nineteen-year-olds. “Get rid of the khakis. I hate khakis I only have them for work.” He picked up pair of green cargo pants. He thought for a second. “Are you guys actually shopping or is this a spectator sport?” 

“We’re shopping for you,” said Chris and Annie together.

“I’m shopping for both of us,” said Tom. He picked up a paisley shirt, “And, actually, Jared would love this.” 

Jensen took the clothes off Annie. “Okay, I’ll be back.” As he walked into the changing room Scissor Sisters’ “I Can’t Decide” started to play. Jensen smiled as he got into a stall and danced his way out of his pants. 

He heard someone in the store ask if he was drunk and heard Annie say, “My sister, his wife, this should have been her twenty-ninth birthday. He’s drunk but there’s not going to be a scene or anything. We’re just going to try on everything in the shop and we’ll probably end up with a two, possibly three hundred dollar bill. We cool?”

“You don’t have to buy anything. And there’s no law against drunk browsing. He won’t puke will he?” 

“Nah, he’s good.” 

He danced his way through the song and through the clothes. He came out saying, “I like this pair of jeans and the green cargos. The grey, blue, and green shirts are nice. The others make my torso look weird. We still have to hit Express, Armani, Guess, Abercrombie, Aéropostale, Old Navy, and Neiman’s so I’m not that worried. But I like that zippy sweater.” He pulled the zippy sweater over his shirt it was beige with thin pale green vertical stripes. “Yep, like it. We done?” The others nodded and Jensen took the paisley shirt from Tom. The bill was a hundred and ninety dollars and it seemed just about right. He paid with a smile. “Drunk people don’t really care how much they’re paying,” he said smiling at the girl behind the counter. 

~~~

“You’re late,” said Katie barely looking up from her computer. 

“Yeah, whatever, Miss Cassidy, which sound room am I in?” He put the box of doughnuts on her desk.

“Well you were going to be in A but you suck and turned up late so you’re in D, y’know, the little one. And you have to call the technicians because they all moved to other projects.”

“Okay, okay, that’s fair. Thank you, Katie.” He opened the lid of the box, “have a doughnut.” 

“Why are you bringing doughnuts?” He reached for a jelly one and started eating without looking at Jared.

“I’m almost an hour and a half late.” 

“Hence sound room D.” 

“Yeah. Enjoy the doughnut.” He started towards the basement and started calling the guys, apologizing to each one. 

They all forgave him and ate the doughnuts and they were done in three hours with sound looping. And Jared was done for the season. He was officially free for the whole summer. Except the Family Barbeque but that was always fun. It was a nice day. He took the roof off the convertible and drove to the restaurant. He parked in his space and walked into his dream kitchen. It was huge with dark red walls, white tile floor, and steel everywhere. 

Elisha looked away from the stove and said, “I was starting to think you were dead.” 

“Sorry.” He washed his hands in the sink.

She pointed her whisk at him. “You do remember you own this place, right?” 

“You’re chocolate sauce is starting to burn.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” She pulled it off the heat. Not losing her train of thought she said, “Where have you been?”

“With the boy of my dreams.” 

“Wait are you actually dating him now?”

“Oh yes.”

“So this Family Barbeque I’m coming to?”

“Oh yeah: it’s at his house. Get pumped. So we’re going to discuss the summer menu after lunch.” 

“Fuck me. You turn up just in time to give me more work. And I burned my chocolate sauce.” 

“Sorry.” Other chefs started to come in to the kitchen, talking to Jared as they all got ready to open for lunch. He put on his toque blanche and apron and got to work. He cooked for four hours with recipes he knew better than his own face. It was easy and fun. There were no cameras, no explaining each step aloud, it was just straight cooking. And the best part was that, for the whole lunch, none of the patrons ordered their meat well-done because that always hurt him deep inside. 

They shut for two hours between lunch and dinner. There was tons of prep to do but Jared grabbed a late lunch and sat Elisha down. He pulled a notebook out of his back pocket. “Okay. So we keep the signature dishes and scrap the winter menu. Then I’m thinking awesome salads, cold soups, Greek style lamb kabobs with the fixin’s tzatziki and pita, and shit tons of fish.” He handed her the notebook, “What do you think?” 

She read through the recipes. “Well these all sound awesome. So when are you ordering the new menus?”

“Do you feel comfortable? You are the head chef.”

“Well, on paper, you are. But as you’re never here… yeah. I need to practice these for a week. Sound good?” 

“Yeah. I’ll order the menus tomorrow.” He put the notebook away.

“Jared, can I ask you a serious question?”

“Sure, Leesh.”

“In the CIA you said your dream was to own a top rated restaurant. JT’s is the number one restaurant in the city.”

“I’m not hearing a question.”

“When are you quitting your TV show?” 

He sighed, “I wanted a restaurant and I got it and it’s great. And I wanted to be famous and I am and it’s great. But I don’t know. I don’t know what I want anymore… no I do, but it’s ridiculous.”

“So what’s your dream now?” she asked. 

“I want to cook lunch here and go home and think up new recipes for the rest of the day and come in early to try them all out.”

“So quit the show.”

“I owe Sandy another two seasons and then… we’ll see.” 

“I want you here more and Paris is a diva. I worry on my nights off what I will see in the morning.”

“Paris is a wonderful chef,” Jared said.

“She’s Paris Hilton. She only came to the CIA for a reality show.”

“She’s good at it.”

“She doesn’t eat,” Elisha countered.

“She tastes enough to know what she’s cooking. And we’re friends.”

“I know, I know. I’ll have her over this weekend to practice the new menu.” She sighed. “I love her but she’s a spaz and a flake.” 

“Yeah she is that doesn’t make her a bad person. She always remembers to turn up to work. She just forgets people’s birthdays.” Jared shrugged. He liked Paris. They’d met during her reality show. Jared had liked the cameras and had quickly learned that he liked Paris. But at first he’d sort of pressured Elisha into being her friend. It wasn’t just because of the cameras, he really had liked Paris and she hadn’t made many friends because a lot of people were snobbish about her crashing into their classes. And once she became serious about cooking it had been really easy to like her: she was a good chef. Later he had profited off the friendship, it made the Network actually take notice of him as he already had camera time and he’d gotten another great chef for his restaurant. 

“Is she coming to the barbeque?”

“Of course she is.” 

“So why haven’t you brought Jensen here yet?” 

“When we weren’t dating it just… we were keeping things light and this seemed too real. And now, what if he doesn’t like the food?” 

“That’s fucking ridiculous. You’re just freaking out because he’s your dream boy.” 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “So take lunch off tomorrow and Friday.” 

She smiled, “Awesome.”

“Then Saturday there’s no lunch but I’ll take Sunday brunch. Monday, I’m cooking at Jamie’s school. And then next week is Paris so she can take off Tuesday through Friday. Which gives both of you time to get the menu down. I’ll reimburse you both for supplies.” 

“We’ll probably just do it together.”

“Awesome.” His phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and read the text. It said, “He spent two thousand dollars, smoked a whole pack of cigarettes, and vomited in my car. It’s going pretty well.” He smiled. Out loud he said, “I’m not staying for dinner. I’ll email you and Paris the recipes.” He stood up, rewashed his hands, and said, “I’m sorry I’ve been so absent recently. I’ll make it up. Meanwhile, I gotta go take care of my dogs.” 

“Later, Jared.”

“Later, Leesh.”

He drove home in the cooling evening. He stopped at his house and picked up more clothes. He took a hot fast shower to scrub off the restaurant, afraid of going to Jensen’s unclean. Teeth brushed, hair combed, and clothes collected Jared left his house. Once he was at Jensen’s he put the top up and let himself in with his key. He liked the key. No one had ever given him a key before. The dogs galloped up to him. He dropped to his knees, “Hi, babies, hi. D’ya miss me? Yes you did. Yes you did.” They licked his face and Harley tried to climb on to him. “Yes, hi, hi. Let’s go out back. Kay?” They followed him through the house and out the back door. “You guys play and do your business and I’ll cook dinner.” 

He walked back inside and fried up some chicken with brown rice and vegetables. It was easy and fast. He ate his portion at the counter while he let the dogs’ cool down. He washed his plate and then whistled to the dogs. They scampered inside and wolfed down the meal. “I’m gonna get changed and we’ll go for a run.” He went into the bedroom and changed into sweats and a t-shirt. He grabbed the dogs’ leashes off the counter in the hallway and locked the backdoor. Snapping the leads onto the dogs’ collars he said, “Okay, babies, you know the drill. Now that Harley’s hip is so good, and no one’s here, we’re going for a good long jog.” 

It was the kind of night wherein Jared forgot all the problems of living in Texas. It was beautiful and not too hot and everything was still green before the heat of the season turned the world brown. Running without thinking was pleasant. They ran through the suburban neighborhood. People driving gave him small waves. It felt like an Ataris song. The sun was starting to set when they got back. The dogs settled in the living room floor. Jared collected the laundry out of the bedrooms and sorted the clothes into colors and whites. He put in a load of darks and then changed into new PJs. He put the dog bowls into the dishwasher and got it running and checked his watch. It wasn’t time to go to Tom’s yet so Jared went into the living room and scanned the DVDs. IMDB had informed Jared of an awful lot of Jensen’s past. He hadn’t yet seen a lot of Jensen’s films. A lot of Jensen’s movies were quiet, with no explosions, violence, or sex. And Jared had never really paid attention to films like that. 

He picked one called the Violet Sea and started watching. It was good, about a fishing boat and the crew. It was shot like a documentary but there was something horrific about it, lurking just under the surface and Jared knew it wouldn’t have a happy ending. He paused the DVD to put the darks into the dryer and put the whites in to the washer. Jensen could be heard in the music. It was like a fingerprint. And Jared knew that you could tell a Danny Elfman score from a Hans Zimmerman but he hadn’t expected Jensen’s work to sound like Jensen himself. It wasn’t one specific aspect that made it so recognizable it was the feeling: it felt like him. Jared was getting really into the film when his cell vibrated with a text message. 

“Wgll wou bome ovr hf I dont want to haue s3z?” Jared stared at it for a few minutes, looking at the key pad to try and decipher the code. Eventually he came up with: will you come over if I don’t want to have sex? It made him smile and he texted back: be there as soon as I can. The whites could sit in the washing machine overnight. He pushed his feet into his shoes. And whistled to the dogs who came running up to him. “We’re going to Tom’s. We are going to behave. Aren’t we?” They didn’t reply, “Yes, we are.” He grabbed their leashes but didn’t use them for the short trip for the car. He didn’t want them in the convertible but there was nothing he could do about it. As they walked outside he said, “Don’t scratch up my leather. Try to be still. At least I cut your nails on Sunday.” He opened the door and they clambered in. The drive to Tom’s was easy and fast and he let the dogs out and jogged up to the door. He knocked and opened it calling, “Hello?” The hallway was filled with shopping bags.

Looking around the corner he saw Chris, Annie, and Tom sitting on the couch watching a horror film, “Jared?” asked Annie. 

“Jen sent me a text message telling me to come over.” Jared looked at them. They were obviously all a little drunk.

“He stumbled upstairs about a half hour ago. He said we were judging him, that he wanted to puke, and to leave him the fuck alone.” Tom said with a slight smile, “He’s okay; we just figured we’d give him a little time.” 

“Okay, I’m gonna go see him.” Jared gave them a half wave and went upstairs and into the guestroom. Jensen was passed out, half on the bed, fully dressed. Jared smiled at him, “Jen?” Jensen didn’t stir so Jared started to rearrange Jensen so that he was actually on the bed. 

Jared started to take off Jensen’s shoes when Jensen started to come to himself. He sort of tried to kick Jared away, “Geddoff.”

“It’s just me, Jen. I just want to get you comfortable.” Jensen stilled and let him take off his shoes and socks. “Good, Jen, that’s good.” Jared started to unbutton Jensen’s jeans but Jensen pushed his hands away. “Sleeping in jeans is always a bad idea. You wake up with sore bits where the seams dug in to your hips.”

“Don’t make me,” Jensen whined. 

“I’m not making you do anything. I’m just trying to get you into bed.” He leaned down and kissed Jensen’s cheek. “Just lift your hips so I can get you out of you jeans and under the covers. Okay?”

Jensen did as asked but slurred, “I don’t have condoms and I don’t wanna.” 

“No, Jen, I don’t either.”

“Don’t wanna bareback, Joshua,” Jensen said and there was a note of desperation that made Jared hurt. The text message wasn’t funny as it apparently had been a real question and not a joke. 

Speaking very softly, “Jensen, it’s me: Jared. All I want to do is get you into bed and cuddle. That’s all, okay?” Jensen focused his eyed on Jared as though trying to ascertain the truth. And then he started to help Jared undress him down to his boxers and tee-shirt. He crawled up the bed to pull the covers down and climb into bed. Jared moved in next to him and pulled the covers up. “See, just here to cuddle. Go to sleep.” Jensen curled on top of his, snuffling wetly into Jared’s clavicle before passing out again. 

Jared lay awake, thinking, worrying even as the dogs passed out on the bed and Jensen snored in his ear. He couldn’t be comforted by the noise. Instead he went over what Jensen had said again and again. His cell phone rang from where it sat on the bedside and he turned it off. He stroked his hands over Jensen’s shoulders and tried to drift. He woke up in daylight and slid from under Jensen and went down to the kitchen for coffee. 

Tom was standing by the island looking worse for wear. “Oh good, someone’s human. Annie’s showering. Chris vomited in my bed. How’s Jen?” 

“Still asleep. I’m hoping coffee will perk him up.” Jared said as he poured himself and Jensen a cup each. 

“How was he last night?” asked Tom. 

Jared thought for a moment and then said, “Y’know, Tom, I think you guys were right not to get involved in our relationship. And I think you should still keep out of it. He’s not okay. But I’ll deal with that. When are we going to breakfast?”

“A little over an hour.”

“I’ll deal with it. Can I borrow your cell phone? Mine’s off upstairs.” He texted Elisha, telling her that he did, in fact need her to work lunch, and apologized. Then he took the coffees back to the bedroom. “Jensen, you need to wake up.” 

Jensen blinked at him owlishly and reached for the coffee as he sat up. “Why do I need to be awake?”

“How bad’s your hangover?” asked Jared. 

“I don’t get hangovers.” Jensen sipped his coffee. “I also don’t blackout. I’m sorry about last night.”

Jared drank his coffee, “You don’t have to explain things you say when you’re drunk. I’d like you to but… it’s like a rule: get out of jail free. Drunk rambling is not something you can be held accountable for… I’m gonna ask you a question but, again, you don’t have to answer. Okay?” Jensen nodded. “Joshua isn’t um,” he couldn’t think how to ask it, “Josh?” 

But Jensen laughed, “No, no, it’s not my brother. God, no.” He laughed again, “That’s sick.” With a sigh he put down his coffee. “Come back to bed. I’m not talking about it like this but I’m gonna tell you.” Jared got under the covers and Jensen pulled Jared down on top of him, into the same positions they’d been in when Jared had told him about Milo. It was easier not to look one another in the eye. “I haven’t been entirely honest with you. At first, when we were not-dating, it didn’t really matter because we weren’t really dating. And since Sunday we’ve just sort of been in a whirlwind. But I feel like, if this is going to go as well as it’s been going, and if I want this to be a real thing and not just some affair, I need to tell you the truth. It’s a really long story.”

Jensen paused and Jared said, “It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.”

“That first night we met you called me up later, kinda drunk, and you said that you couldn’t believe I had been outted by someone I’d been sleeping with for months. I couldn’t believe it when Kerr did it to me but I hadn’t been sleeping with him for months, unless you think that defining two and a half years as months is accurate. He was an amazing first boyfriend. We hung out in the same group, he was a little older. I remember when he asked me out for the first time. We were all at the pizzeria and he and I were playing darts and he said, ‘Do you want to go to the movies with me tomorrow night? Not as a group thing but as a thing-thing.’ And I was totally thrilled. I ran into the kitchen when I got home to tell my parents. I never really came out to them, it would have been superfluous to be honest. And it was great, y’know it was exactly what a first should be like, we did all those things you’re supposed to do: spend a lot of time together, make out a lot, talk about interests and come up with futures, wait until you’re really ready and madly in love to have sex, and think hickies are awesome, the whole thing.   
“Until one day, when I got back from tour and his momma came home early from work and found us in bed together and he’d never told his parents and all hell broke loose. He told me to go home, that he would fix it, and he would call me as soon as he could. The call never came and four days later every celebrity magazine had a cover story about me being gay and the fact that a source had told them this after investigating it for a couple of months. And while you can’t really expect to end up with your first love for the rest of your life you can hope it won’t be in magazines when it ends. And you don’t except your dad to punch his dad in a supermarket because his dad told your dad that you’re a faggot and that faggots go to hell and that your dad was also damned to hell for raising an abomination. But that’s what happened.   
“So then I just went on tour a lot, didn’t date, just toured and had sex with my friends, even Jason who is so straight. But it didn’t have to mean anything. What’s a blowjob between friends? And then I went to college and I slept with a lot of people but I didn’t have a boyfriend. And that was good too. I didn’t let anyone top because Kerr topped and I didn’t want it to be like that and no hickies because those show ownership and they sure as fuck didn’t own me. Then I got a call from the WB near the middle of my freshman year: we’re making this show called Dawson’s Creek will you do some scoring for us? And I said yes and they wanted me to meet the cast which was totally ridiculous as I was super cocky and was like: I’m famous who the fuck is Katie Holmes?   
“But I went to North Carolina for the last two weeks for Christmas break and I got to know the Jameses, Katie, Michelle, and Joshua. We got really tight really fast. And by the time I went back to school Joshua and I were together. He was the first boyfriend I’d had since Kerr and I fell pretty hard, I would have done anything for him. In retrospect I’m not really sure why. He wasn’t very in to me in or out of bed. He didn’t want anyone other than the other four to know. He made fun of my music. I mean you don’t have to like my music but it’s not okay to say it’s shit and the emperor’s new clothes while fucking me. And the sex… sex can be painful: if you’re not ready, or it’s too fast, or the angle’s wrong. Except with him it was always painful. It wasn’t an occasional accident and it took me a while to realize that it was on purpose; he liked hurting me. And his hickies weren’t anything nice they were just bruises and I wasn’t allowed to mark him. Just as I was coming to terms with all that and realizing that the guy I was in love with was abusing me and that he frequently won the fight about whether or not we used condoms he dumped me for a girl. That hurt too, and I don’t know why because, clearly, it had to end.   
“So then I went through a shorter, angrier slutty period. And then I met Tricia and she was everything I could want. She made me really happy, and I felt normal, and good around her. I was madly in love with her, platonically. And I started dating men seriously, or at least I thought it was serious. I didn’t let anyone top and I didn’t leave marks or let them mark me but I was a good boyfriend. I knew how to make sex great for everyone involved. I didn’t really trust anyone after Joshua to pay attention to what I wanted so I just made sure it was awesome sex. But it always ended the same way: you’re a great guy but you’re more into your lesbian best friend then me, and you don’t let anyone in, and even though you act like a boyfriend you’re really not that into me, and the correct response to the words ‘I love you’ is not ‘thank you’. When she died it all came crashing down. Everything was raw again: Kerr, the homophobia I was battered with, Joshua, being alone. So I just chopped that aspect out of my life. I stopped playing our music and I just went on alone with our baby.   
“You came blundering into our lives like a freight train with broken breaks and it’s amazing. It’s like a do over. I’m up for anything in bed ‘cause it’s all so good and we’re both covered in hickies. And you should have seen Tom’s face after you left yesterday when I said, ‘I love you’ and you responded like it wasn’t a big thing. Kerr and I used to say it but I didn’t know Tom then, and Joshua wouldn’t have liked it if I’d said it in front of people, and I’ve never said it to anyone else romantically. I’ve been playing down how big this is. What you and I have is huge. Last night I was very drunk, and I missed her, and I’d bottomed the night before for the first time since Joshua and I was out of it. Sorry.”

Jared finally lifted his head and looked at Jensen, “You don’t need to apologize. Is this too fast? Do you want to slow down?”

“No, no. I love this whirlwind. Just bear with me if I get stressed out. I’m twenty-nine and I’m in my first real healthy relationship. And it’s a lot more fun than I ever would have thought.” 

Jared leaned up to kiss Jensen slowly. There was a tension in the room as though Jensen were waiting for Jared to be mean, to call him a slut or something. Jared didn’t like that so he broke the kiss asking, “Does that mean Tom Cruise is coming to the Barbeque? I’ve met everyone else through all of your friends but do you think he’ll come?”

Jensen didn’t laugh, “You called them all for permission to use their likeness why didn’t you ask? I emailed everyone and put that spouses are welcome. I’ve met him a couple of times. Katie and I had a huge fight when she converted Scientology but we got over that. So maybe. I know that Michelle is staying with us for a week with Matty. She emailed me back almost instantly. She said if she’s flying from New York she’s getting a real visit. She came down just after Heath died. I wasn’t really talking to anyone but, y’know, I could empathize with her. She and Matty stayed with us for a month. I don’t know how many people will be staying. But we have four empty bedrooms at the house and then I guess we can put overflow at Chris and Steve’s, and here.”

“There’s my house,” Jared offered. 

“Yeah, we’ll figure it out… I better test the batteries in my breathalyzer.”

“You have a breathalyzer?”

“Yeah, Tricia gave it to me as my wedding present. I get worried about people driving drunk and the parties were always at our house.” 

Jared laughed, “That is so like you.” He sighed, “So what’s the plan with breakfast and work?”

“I only have one class and it’s at two. We were going to go to this café Tricia liked. But do you have a better idea?” 

“If that’s what you want to do it sounds great.” 

“To be honest, I’m done being a grieving, moping bastard, and the group togetherness for a while so if you come up with a reason as to why we should ditch I’m there.” 

“I want to take you to my restaurant. I didn’t when we were not-dating because it seemed like too much. But we haven’t switched to the summer menu which means we still have the meatloaf on the menu.”

“Is that good?” asked Jensen with a smile. 

“My momma has stopped making my grandma’s recipe in favor of mine. It’s in a mushroom cream sauce with fried eggs and mashed potatoes. It’s to die for good. I would eat it three times a week if it wouldn’t lead to me having a heart attack.” Jared’s cell phone beeped as he turned it on he said, “I have sixteen messages.”

“Why?” asked Jensen then he reached for his own and turned it on. Before Jared could answer Jensen said, “I have thirty-four.” There was a knock at the door. “Yeah?”

Tom opened the door, “Okay, so bad news. I was watching entertainment news to wake up fully. There are reporters at your house, the school, and Jared’s house, and the Food Network, they’re not at college because security threatened them. Apparently not everyone likes the promo. Which they showed: I think it’s awesome and it’s going to be the best party ever. And some people really like it. Lots of people are super into it. The internet is blowing up. And this has re-spiked everyone’s interest in you, Jen. They’re talking about Tricia and the irony of you dating a chef when your son has such bad food allergies. Which I think is the exact opposite of irony. ”

Jared felt his panic rising and dropped his phone.

Jensen thought for a moment. “Jared and I aren’t going with you to breakfast. Are there reporters at JT’s?”

“Not to my knowledge. Do you want to do the old thing?”

“Yes, please.”

Jared had no idea what that meant but Tom nodded, “It’s probably a good thing because there’s no way you could get all of your clothes into the back of Jared’s convertible.” Jared’s keys were on the bedside table and Tom walked to them, picked them up and replaced them with his own. “I’m gonna wear a hat and loop your house before we go to the café. Maybe they’ll think I’m Jared.”

“Don’t loop my house. Loop Jared’s. We need to go there to shower. Jared can grab his SUV and I can drive your car to work. We’ll figure out how to swap back later.” 

“Sounds good.” Tom said, “I’m gonna get everyone out of here. Anything else?” 

“Lube and condoms?” asked Jensen.

“Left drawer in your bathroom. Have fun.” He left. 

Jensen put his phone back on the bedside table. “Jared, you’re panicking. I need you to calm down and let me up. Don’t bother with your voicemail. It’s parents and friends saying they’re worried and they love you. We’re going to have good sex: however you want. And I want you to focus on that: what you want. Get off me. I’m gonna get condoms.”

“Just lie here for a few more moments, okay?” asked Jared. He leaned up for a kiss. “Stay with me? I am panicking, why aren’t you?” 

“It’s been a few years but I used to be very used to this. I bought you some clothes on my drunken spree. So, sex, lunch, shower? Just focus on good things. It gets easier. I’m sorry that it’s so hard. I wish it wasn’t.”

“I did it for you and me and Jamie. And it sucks that there’s consequences for just being honest. The truth doesn’t set you free it sets paparazzi on you. I’ve never had paparazzi before. But you’re so famous and I knew this would happen but I thought I was going to be able to handle it because I’m already a little famous. But this isn’t… I don’t know, I’m freaked out. I don’t want to be. I’d like to be calm about it.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m gonna help you as much as possible. And thank you, for doing this for us. It dies down eventually. If we didn’t live in Texas it wouldn’t matter. If we lived in a blue state no one would care. And Tom says a lot of people are on our side.” 

“I don’t want to move. My family is here.”

“Yeah, there’s the rub. My parents live twenty minutes away. But people lose interest in the scandal after a while.” Jared said nothing and Jensen moved out from under him, “I’m gonna take your mind off of it.” He went into the connected bathroom and came back a few moments later with a condom and lube. “It’s really typical of Tommy to have fully equipped each bedroom.” He crawled onto the bed and straddled Jared, kissing his mouth. “What do you want? Anything. Because, as I said, I love it all.”

“I don’t want to have to think. I want you to top.” 

Jensen nodded and kissed him slowly. And after that it was a blur of sensation to Jared. Jensen’s weight kept him pinned to the bed, and there were slick fingers fucking him open. He gasped and bit down on Jensen’s shoulder even as Jensen was kissing his neck. He felt safe and surrounded by Jensen. And everything else slipped away. Jensen pushed Jared’s legs up to his chest to give him better access and his fingers were rubbing over Jared’s prostate.

“Can’t believe you’re talking about meatloaf right now,” Jensen laughed. 

“Didn’t know I was.”

“It does sound delicious. You ready? You feel so good and ready, feel amazing.”

“Want you closer.” Jared moved his legs from his chest, out to the sides, so that Jensen’s chest was against his own. “I’m beyond ready. Need you now.”

He heard the condom being opened and again it was just a blur of feeling and Jensen felt good inside of him, it was all so good and Jensen cupped the back of his head to kiss him hard. And Jared was happy and lost in it and he wanted it to go on forever. 

“It can’t,” said Jensen with a chuckle. “Wish it could. Gotta touch you.”

It was over too soon and Jared lay beneath Jensen panting and happy and loose. “God, love you.”

“I love you too. We should go take a shower, we have to go to the restaurant soon if we want time. I have class.” Jared let Jensen manhandle him into the shower, wash his hair and body with gentle care. “I bought you some clothes. I couldn’t resist. I totally went overboard yesterday… almost three thousand dollars. I was pretty drunk all day, kept topping up.” 

“Did you have fun?” 

“Right up until the end when I was too drunk to function so I ran away from the group, sent you a pathetic text, passed out, and then accused you of trying to molest me.”

“Actually, you accused me of trying to rape you. And even if you’d been begging to have sex it still wouldn’t be consensual as you were way too drunk to make that decision.”

“What if you talk about it beforehand?”

“If you say, ‘Let’s go out, get drunk, and have sloppy sex afterwards if we’re both up for it,’ then it’s cool. But otherwise I think it’s kind of creepy. Unless you’ve been together for a long time and you know each other well enough to make that call.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jensen said smiling against Jared’s lips before kissing him slowly. He turned off the water and reached for a towel. He ran it over Jared’s hair, “You feeling a bit less stressed out?” Jared nodded. “Good,” he started to dry off Jared’s shoulders. 

“You can tell you’re a dad. I freak out so you take care of me, even toweling me off.”

“I like taking care of you, makes me less stressed out. I focus on you instead of the paparazzi to keep me calm.” He finished drying Jared and wrapped the towel around his waist before reaching for a towel of his own. “My eyes are killing me. I need to get those overnight contacts, can’t be helped now.” He wrapped his towel around his waist having dried himself rougher and faster than he had Jared. “All the clothes are downstairs.” He took Jared by the hand and led him. He pointed to four bags, “Those are yours. I went a bit manic with organizing last night.”

Jared chuckled, “I can imagine that quite easily.” He started to sort through the clothes, they were all very much in his style which made him smile. 

The front door opened and Mike walked in with a smile, “Is it my birthday? Have you guys set up an awesome orgy for me? Is that why I got kicked out last night?”

“No,” said Jared. “We just needed to get dressed. Please don’t try to feel us up.” 

Mike gave them a put upon sigh, “Fine. I’ll go away.”

Jared pulled tags out of his new jeans and stepped into them. “They fit me just right.”

“I know your body pretty well.” Jensen said pulling on a simple black tee-shirt and jeans. “I can wash and change for school at your place?” 

“Of course.” Jared pulled on a pink shirt with an inscription that read: I’m a VERY Famous Person. 

“Are you sure you want to wear that today?” 

“I think it’s funnier today than most days. I like to think I’m famous but really I was on Paris’ one season reality show and a very popular cooking show… which actually doesn’t translate to real fame. But add in ‘gay’ and ‘Jensen Ackles’ and I’m a bona fide celebrity. Which would be pretty cool if it weren’t for the negative press.” 

Jensen laughed. “Well, I’m glad you’re almost excited. I’m gonna go grab our stuff. Go talk to your friend.” He took Jared’s towel and started back up the stairs. 

Jared watched Jensen go up the stairs, “Jen?” Jensen turned. “Your new jeans make your ass look completely delicious. I half want to just throw you down on the stairs.” Jensen laughed and kept going. In the kitchen he smiled at Mike, “Chris vomited in your bed. Tom didn’t tell me the full extent of the damage.” 

“Fuck me sideways. What the fuck even happened last night?”

“Tricia’s birthday. We weren’t invited because we didn’t know her.” 

“You’re here.”

“I was invited for drunk cuddling after the fact, not the party or the shopping spree.”

“That’s fair.” Mike poured himself a cup of coffee. “I spent the night at Chad’s. He and Sophia had a huge fight.”

“I am so sorry.”

“Yeah, the loud sex always comes afterwards… it’s sort of entertaining though.” 

“Pervert.” 

“I meant the fight.”

“No you didn’t.”

“No, I didn’t.” He smiled. Jensen came downstairs with a bag and handed Jared his flip-flops. “I’m really bummed that it wasn’t an orgy I walked in on.” 

“Get over it,” said Jared. “We’re going to pack Tom’s car and go but I’ll talk to you later. Can I leave the dogs here?” Mike nodded. Thank God it was a huge hatchback. Jared sighed as they packed it, “There’s forty-six bags, Jen.” 

“Well four are yours and five are Jamie’s… I refuse to be ashamed.”

Jared laughed, “I’ll drive?”

“Sure, I’m not sure where JT’s is.” 

Jared slid behind the wheel, “I’ll show you for next time.” He took Jensen’s hand gently as he started to back out of the driveway. “I’m glad I get to be your first healthy relationship. I’m a great guy,” he meant it earnestly but Jensen laughed, and Jared could see why maybe it sounded vain, but it was the truth. “No seriously. I love you. And I would never knowingly do anything to hurt you, physically or emotionally, that’s not me.” 

“I know,” said Jensen, “I’ve grown up a lot since them. I know how not to get myself into a mean relationship.” 

“Good.” 

“Now put both hands on the wheel,” Jensen took his hand away gently. 

There was no paparazzi at JT’s and Jared pulled around back into a space. “Welcome,” said Jared, “to my Mecca. I think you’ll like it.” He sighed, deeply and then got out of the car and sort of squared his shoulders. He didn’t want to be this nervous. But if Jensen didn’t like it he was fucked because this was his place, it was his baby, the closest thing he had to a kid. He opened the backdoor. And performed a dramatic bow ushering Jensen in with a flare of his hand, “After you.”

Jensen laughed, “I feel like Cinderella at the ball.”

“In a way you are.”

Jensen smiled, “You don’t need to be this nervous. It’s your place: I’m going to love it.”

And they went down the tiny, narrow corridor into the kitchen and then there is no space to worry or breathe. It was home, it was loud, it was hot, it was frantic, it was like the fucking womb to Jared: he was never happier anywhere than he was here. “This is my kitchen.” 

He watched Jensen for his reaction, the worry coming back slightly. But Jensen looked like he just entered Willy Wonka’s factory. He looked amazed and his attention faltered, he was glancing everywhere watching the activity and taking it all in. “I know understand your inability to stand still, it’s withdrawal from this, my God, I know you have boundless energy but wow. How do y’all keep up with this?” 

Jared waved him off, “Easy peasy lemon squeezy. That’s like me saying, ‘How do you write such beautiful music and play the piano so well.’ It’s aptitude, practice, and joy.”

“Is this normal, is it usually this hectic?”

“Always with the exception of Tuesdays, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, the day after Christmas, New Years Eve, Thanksgiving, and Super Bowl Sunday. We’re shut those days.” 

“That is fucking amazing.”

But things weren’t right, over the noise he called, “Elisha and Paris, why are you both here?” 

Elisha looked up and sighed, “Dude, how did you even think you could work today? Loved the promo, but seriously? I’m surprised you’re outside.” 

“Paris, why are you here?” asked Jared. 

“Because, Leesh was all freaked out that the paparazzi would turn up. So I came so that if they do I can just do my ‘I’m Paris Hilton’ act and make them leave. But now I’m cooking so I’m staying.” She smiled as she took a pan off the heat, and slid tuna onto a bed of wild rice, “Table three’s plates are ready.” Then, as they were whisked away, she sighed, “Jared, we’re fucked. Every queer loving liberal in the state is trying to get a table. And it’s like, hey fuckers, you can’t get a reservation on an average day, we don’t need solidarity reservations. We’re always fully booked for like, a month. We now have three months of reservations plus a hotlist of people willing to drop everything if we have a cancellation, good-fucking-luck. But I looked totally hot in the promo. Chad always gets my good side.” 

Jared laughed, “We’ll worry about all that later. This is Jensen,” he gestured to Jensen and then said, “Jen, these are Elisha and Paris, my best friends from CIA.”

“I saw a little of that reality show,” Jensen nodded as Paris and Elisha kept cooking. 

“Ugg,” Paris groaned. “That was so stupid. It’s like, ‘OMG, Paris can’t cook because she’s stupid and funny.’ Well guess what, cooking’s hard and I’d never attempted it, of course I was gonna look like a fucktard. They might as well have made a show about the fact that I don’t know how to be an astronaut.” 

“They had to cancel it once we started tutoring Paris and got her up to speed,” said Jared. 

Paris smiled, “It turns out I’m a natural and shit. Once I got good there was no point to the show.”

“But we still love you.” Jared said. 

“I’m so glad you’ve finally come, Jensen,” said Elisha. “We’ve really wanted to meet you. Table twenty-two.”

“I gotta tell you,” said Paris, “my dad really liked you when I was younger.”

Jensen smiled, “I get that a lot, parents liking me. I mean a lot.”

“I really didn’t like your music. The pop, yes, but the classical stuff? No.”

“Don’t hold back, please,” Jensen said with a laugh. 

“No, but see the last few years every time I hear really good music in a film it’s always yours.” 

“We used to listen to your Christmas CD all the time,” said Elisha.

Jared stared at her, “We did? No we didn’t.”

“You always sang the girl bit on Baby, it’s Cold Outside,” Elisha said. “And I used to cry at the version Silent Night. Table Twelve is done,” she called.

Jensen laughed and his cheeks colored. But Jared just said, “That was you, Jen?” 

“The funny thing is we weren’t supposed to make that album, we did that junior year. We were supposed to be doing the one we eventually did after that, one of the ones that was just our music. Um, but, we turned up drunk and antagonistic and demanding to do Christmas music… it was April. So we just played all the music and sang all our favorite songs until everyone in the studio was forced to go along with us. And Tricia tried to browbeat me into singing the girl part of Baby, it’s Cold Outside, but I refused. There was a minor slap fight… man we were drunk.”

“I can’t believe that was you,” said Jared, “I loved that CD.” 

“Me too,” said Jensen with a smile. “It’s really nice to meet you both, I’ve heard so much about you… and stealing white truffles from the test kitchen for a party.”

“Table seventeen,” Elisha called. Then she said, “We couldn’t afford them. They’re three hundred dollars an ounce. And it was totally worth it, we made the most amazing pasta and a gorgeous dip,” Elisha justified. 

“That’s what Jared said too.” 

“That was not a good party,” Paris sighed, “that party sucked. Table six.”

“You only say that because you made out with Chad,” said Elisha.

“I hate you, Leesh.”

They continued to work and Jared said, “Can we put in an order?”

“I hate you, too,” said Paris. “What do you want?” 

“Two orders of the meatloaf, please? I would offer to help but-”

“We’re already a chef up, just stay out the way,” said Elisha. 

“Jen, sit down, get comfortable.” 

“At the chef’s table?” asked Jensen with a smile. 

“It usually has a flat fee, advanced reservations, and a party of at least six. Plus we don’t let them make the reservation unless we like them to begin with and we do a set tasting menu. But I like you so you get real food and a free lunch.” Jared kissed him lightly. “Sit, I’m getting us a starter.” 

Jared moved between different stations to get to the back counter where little dishes were already set up. Elisha leaned in as he passed and said, “He’s fucking adorable in person.” Jared laughed, grabbed two dishes, two glasses of sweet spiced iced tea, and walked back to the table. 

“Spicy hazelnuts and sweet pecans,” he said pointing to each bowl respectively. “They’re each a bit much on their own but they’re really balancing together.” He smiled easily, “Y’like my kitchen?” 

“It’s awesome, and so fitting.” 

Jared felt the pleasure seep from his bones outwards. And he ate the nuts quietly, just listening to the kitchen and Paris and Elisha barking orders at the other people in the kitchen. “I don’t know how I ever thought engineering could be my life. I mean, I still think it’s fascinating but I can’t imagine being half so happy without food.”

“Which is why,” said Elisha putting plates down on the table, “you should quit the fucking show.” 

“Here, here!” Paris agreed, waving a spatula.

“If it weren’t for the show we wouldn’t be booked solid with a standby list.” 

Paris rolled her eyes, “We’re always booked solid, Jared. Now eat your fucking lunch and get the fuck out because some of us are real chefs not TV celebrities.”

Throwing back his head to laugh Jared said, “That is so funny coming from you, Miss Simple Life.” 

“Whatever, I made an industry I can fall back on if I ever get burned beyond working in a grease fire. Those stupid shows made me a lot of money and no one can claim I live off my daddy. Tables nine, four, and eleven.” 

The food was the same as it always was, right on the Zagat Guide money. Jensen was groaning appreciatively and the kitchens conversation flowed easily and happily as always. When Jared had started working in restaurants he hadn’t liked them. People were angry, head chefs were rude, and all the other people in the kitchen were underpaid. So when he’d gotten the money together to start his own place he’d wanted to do it right. He’d gotten his two best cooking friends in on it. Then he’d hired everyone else carefully. They were efficient, diligent, laidback folk who rolled with it and stayed a top of any given situation. Which meant that, while there was a lot of shouting over the noise, there was never any yelling. They stayed and were still talking when a meat delivery came and Jared left Jensen to go and help bring it in. 

~~~

The minute Jared was gone Paris said, “Cover me, Leesh?” 

“On it,” said Elisha and then Paris came and sat down next to Jensen.

“Are you a nice man?” asked Paris. “Chad likes you and that’s a good sign because Chad’s good at people reading. You seemed nice when you were a pop star but I seem stupid when I’m being famous so I can’t put much stock in that. Are you nice?”

Jensen shook his head, “No, not really. I mean I’m kind of a misanthrope who somehow ended up with a huge group of very close friends. I’m good with small kids and animals. I care deeply about the people I love and am not particularly interested in anyone else. I am speedy to empathize but I don’t like people. I’m not a particularly nice man. If on the other hand the question is, am I nice to Jared? Then yeah, I’m the nicest guy on Earth.”

“Good answer,” said Paris. “Do you like the food?”

“It’s amazing. I mean, I knew that Jared is great and knew that his restaurant would be, especial after hearing about what the three of you used to get up to at the CIA. But it’s so good. I don’t get to eat like this very often.”

“Right, Jared told us about Jamie. That must be horrible.” 

“Not really, not totally. I don’t mind eating that way so much. It’s much more upsetting to eat like this, to be honest. If I couldn’t go from here to Jared’s to shower and change I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to eat this. And the doctors always say that he could get over the allergies, that it could go away, but at the same time they always imply that I should cherish every single minute because it could all end so fast. So I don’t mind eating like that. But this is a huge treat.” 

She grinned, “Well, you’ll be hard pressed to find a better restaurant in Texas.” 

“Y’know, I was surprised to hear about you really enrolling in the school,” said Jensen feeling free to say it after her words. 

“Asking if tuna is fish or chicken can get you really famous. Dumb sells and I wanted to sell. Plus I was kind of in a sex tape that was a problem because, I totally knew about it, I wave at the camera. But I had to deny it and then no one was going to take me serious for a long time. After a while ditzy gets boring. I’m not a hard worker, I get easily distracted. If cooking hadn’t been easy for me I would have given up, but it’s fun.” 

“It’s weird,” said Jensen. “Elisha, Chad, Mike, you. You all followed Jared back here.”

“If Jared went into a third world country-”

Elisha interrupted, “Paris-”

“Developing nation,” Paris rolled her eyes. “And said, ‘Hi, I’m your new dictator,’ they would all cheer. I mean, who the fuck wants to live here if they didn’t grow up here? But Jared said, ‘Come,’ and we all moved.” She rolled her eyes, “He’s like a snake charmer for people.” 

“Or a people whisperer,” added Elisha. She brought a hot chocolate tart over to Jensen. “Try this, it’s Jared’s favorite thing on the menu.”

“He never lets us take it off, even in summer. Who wants hot desserts in the summer?” 

Jensen took a bite and found that the center was melted chocolate and peanut butter, “Oh, fuck that’s good. I totally get why it never comes off the menu.” 

Paris reached over with a fork and took a small bite, “Yeah,” she agreed chewing it slowly. She said, “I better get back to work.”

Jared said goodbye to everyone before they left and Tom called. Jensen said, “Would you mind looping Jared’s house again?” 

“Totally. I’ll get back my car from you sometime?”

“Sounds good thanks, Tom.”

“Of course, man. Don’t worry about anything.” 

“The dogs are at your house.” 

“We’ll trade them when we trade cars.”

“Cool, thanks. You’re the best.”

Despite Tommy’s best efforts there was still a small crowd of paparazzi outside of Jared’s house. Jared just ignored them and pulled up to his garage which he opened with his clicker and shut behind him. But even though he was acting cool he was shaking a little. “Okay?” asked Jensen. Jared nodded, tight lipped. 

Jensen realized that he didn’t have much time before class. They brought Jared’s bags in from the car and Jensen showered and dressed quickly. In the kitchen he looked at Jared and said, “So what are you going to do?” 

“Hide, maybe? I don’t know. Can I come over later?”

“Of course you can.”

“Actually, I left some laundry in your machine and only got through a bit of Violet Sea. So I’ll go to your house, finish those, and go for a long swim. If that’s cool?”

“You did the laundry? You’re fantastic.” Jensen leaned in to kiss him. “Go home and chill out. Don’t panic, okay?”

Jared smiled at him, “Okay. I’m ready to go.”


End file.
